Holiday. Pt 1 - The Flight!!

Holiday. Pt 1 - The Flight!!

I cannot believe its been over a month since I last posted on P&P! Hiiiiiiiyaaaa! *waves*... Time flies when you're having fun. Having fun packing, working, unpacking, trying to get on top of the washing pile, repacking, being mum, going to Brent Cross, meetings, being wife, unpacking and finally packing suitcases for two children and yourself to fly to the other side of the world. Flying into what feels like the unknown. It is the unknown. I mean, I know people live happily in Langkawi but for me its definitely the unknown! And whilst we are on the subject of unknown… Why did nobody tell me about sandwich bags and how useful they are?! I have developed an obsession with them. They saved my life on holiday. 

I’ll come back to that.

So, the dog has been dropped off at her ‘dog-father’s’, the packing is finally finished, I've braided my hair ready for travelling and my travel outfit is laid out ready to climb into. The time we have to wake up… 4AM so we can leave at 5AM. Yaaaaaaay. Why do you always have to get up at 4am when you go on holiday?? I think we ended up going to bed around 12.30am the night before, after I had finally finished scanning all FOUR lists to make sure everything was done! 

The whole waking up and showering before getting the boys up was easy enough. Singing happy songs to Rudy to avoid an early morning meltdown which seemed to work OK?! Car packed up, boys happy and we're were off to the airport. Our flight wasn't due to leave until 10am but Pete who basically spends his life flying around the world when he's on tour and me being a psychopath about being late for anything in life makes us want to leave home 5 hours before the flight. It’s typical Pete and Portia style to get hit by traffic, an old lady in a Citron or a meteorite, you know… that kinda thing, so it just makes sense to leave early. We arrive at the checkin around 7am and it’s busy! That’s when it hits me, the lady checking us in saying those words that all parents dread… ‘Its’ a full flight’ along with a smug smile knowing full well what hell we’re about to endure. FUUUUUUCK! Suck it up, Freeman! You've got this. Dylan is obvs going to be chilled watching movies and eating the sweets we bribe him with and Rudy, well we’ll just wing it with him (I’m thinking all of this whilst he’s getting bored out of his head and desperately trying to escape out of his pushchair), there’s me rummaging through my countless sandwich bags offering him things to eat, in the end it’s the two dummies at once that hold his attention for enough time to get through security. Once we’re through there’s only two things on the agenda… Bacon and Bucks Fizz!!

We get through easily enough. Pete has his usual strip down and touch up, poor babes. Whilst he’s enjoying that, I'm on the hunt for the nearest/nicest place to eat at that time of the morning. We find somewhere and we’re onto our second round of drinks and our mates (who we're going on holiday with) arrive. Mat and Rhiannon and their two little beauties, Amelie and Otto. Woooop. Exciting tiiiimes. Everyones chatting. The children are running around like rabid dogs. Me and Pete are playing tag team. Trying to stop Rudy from escaping or saying ‘Hiiiii’ to anyone he lays his eyes on. On a whole though, feeling pretty relaxed although there is a slight undercurrent of anxiety. The babies (Rudy and Otto) haven't done their morning shit and we definitely want to avoid that fun on the flight so we need to get them out of this restaurant and moving and one of the great things about Terminal 4 is that there’s a soft play area. Praaaaaise!!! This is our main priority, other than eating and getting pissed of course. We wanted those little darlings to be zapped of all of their energy. We tackle and manage to get their shoes off and I'm not joking, by the time they've got inside and had 2 mins to be feral, our names are called for boarding. Zzzzzzz and hectiiiiic! I wanted to buy a book (one can dream), some bronzer for my new 'In Parlour' tan…  no frickin’ time. Annoyiiiiiing! Now I'm feeling pressured and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to not wear a bra. How wrong was I?! Running from the gate to the toilets was embarrassing. I mean, I didn't have big boobs to begin with but since breastfeeding, what’s left was just basically flapping in the stale air-conditioned head wind for all of Terminal 4 to see. I tried to style it out by looking like I knew what I was doing. Lol if you know me. For those of you who don’t… running/jogging, not my thing, it never has been. In my head I looked in control, but in reality I was more like a newborn Giraffe. Win.

We’ve boarded the flight. Yaaaay we’re on the airplane and we are flying economy. Yaaaaay. Not. Rudy’s under the age of two so he still doesn't get his own seat but never fear because Mummy’s lap can be his seat! Yaaaaaay! 

Fuck me, I basically became a footstool, bed, seat, food tray, bin, tissue, toilet, punchbag, sickbag, vending machine, you get my drift!!

Luckily we've been sat with our mates so we can all spread out. I somehow land the spot in the middle of the two older children, along with Rudy on my lap. This is cool. I'm fine with this. I can’t wait for the next 13 hours. 

Take off comes and goes and the drinks trolly comes round. Yes! I'm wanting something to get rid of this lingering anxiety. I've never been a massive fan of flying and looking at that flight map thing on the screen oh so close to my face in front of me shows how far we actually have to fly. Terrifying. 

So cashmere socks on, drink in one hand, toddler in the other, I start to settle down to watch my fave film ‘The Interactive Moving Flight Map’ when my over excited fiance who's acting like a prisoner on day release decides to spill his beer all over my lap. Not amused and just about missing Rudy. Luckily, Pete saw the funny side to all of this. I, however… Did not! Thankfully he packed himself some nice fresh spare Ralph Lauren tracky B’s which I told him to ‘Send’ (What we say to each other when we want something) immediately. I took myself and my face of thunder to the gorgeous bathroom to get changed out of clothes that smelt like I had been on a bar crawl out in Camden back in the day.

Comfy and clean I return to my seat and the man I fell in love with has only gone and got Rudy to sleep. Love him again! 

A few hours pass, Dylan decides he needs a wee and urges me to go with him. We wait a little and I notice there’s a door that says ‘Vacant’. Dylan doing what he does best, bursts open the door and our eyes are met with a ‘Lock-o-phobe’ mid wipe. I shit you not!! Dylan looks at me with a face desperate to erase what he's just seen. I look at her and simply ask, why?? She casually replies (tissue still in hand and still very much mid wipe), ‘I’m afraid of being locked in’. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? I somehow politely smile, close the door and walk away. Poor Dylan.

We head back to our seats scarred for life and I can hear a certain little person is awake and doing his, ‘if you don't let me do what I want…’ noise. Aww it’s Rudy and he's wide awake and ready to play. Yaaay. But he's just had a long sleep so sitting on my lap isn't going to do. He wants to explore!! FML!!!

I give Pete that look. That look all parents give one another. ‘It’s your turn’ look!! I sit down and he gets up to take Rudy for a walk up and down the length of the plane. He manages to do this a few times but eventually Rudy clocks me he turns into a crazy baby and starts to scream hysterically. He just wants to be with me, then it’s Pete's turn of giving me ‘The Look’! This fun goes on for another 2-3 hours. By now my fave movie is telling me there’s only a couple of hours left! WOW, time flies when you're having fun/being tortured. I’m now asking the air stewardess every 15 mins how long till we land. I feel slightly mad, sleep deprived and I'm craving fresh air!!

All babies are sleeping peacefully when we land and they wake in perfect timing. Us parents all look slightly odd. Like we've had an all night bender. We’re all desperate to freshen up.

But the fun doesn't stop there… We have a connecting flight. Yaaaaaay. The next one is only a 50 min flight. Just enough time for the cabin crew to hand out some peanuts and a soft drink. Lovely. It’s about 4am London time when we eventually land in Langkawi and as soon as we land it already becomes clear why we chose this place for our holiday. It’s heaven!!!


Portia x



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