Langkawi, we are here!! It’s heaven, well from what we saw out of the airplane window it is anyway. We’re all exhausted and the children are running around gurning from all the sugar we fed them towards the end of the flight. Us parents feel like we've been on a 4 day bender buuuut whatever The Brits are ‘errrrrree!!! Woohoooo!
Everything runs smoothly. We find our shuttle driver. A very friendly fella with a welcoming 3toothed smile. We realise we’d forgot to organise the carseat for Rudy, remembered the kitchen sink but yeah over looked the carseat… fail number 1 of the holiday… It’s OK. We don't plan on being in cars too much whilst were away anyway and if/when we do plan on going anywhere the hotel can provide one for us. 45 mins later we arrive at the hotel in need of a stiff drink and a fresh pair of pants… cars really do like to over take ON CORNERS at HIGH SPEED, play chicken with one another and not to mention the cute death wish monkeys on the road which we narrowly avoid ploughing down but at least we’ve arrive in one piece.
It’s a Malaysian palace in the middle of the rainforest. The temple like hotel stands tall and airy with beautiful floating fabrics in the very gentle ocean breeze. It feels incredibly grand and spacious, accompanied by the sound of the animals in the trees that surround us is deafening (yet to discover this never stops btw) but it's pretty cool. We’re again greeted by warm smiles and kind eyes. The children are treated like royalty. Perfect. We don't have to feel embarrassed by their over tired and delirious state. Boxes ticked. Now to our rooms please. It’s 10 am local time and we’re desperate to get down to the pool to get our fake tans out, eat, drink, doze and swim.
‘Oh I’m sorry, Sir but your room wont be ready until 2pm…’ URMMMM!!! Pete’s very efficient request some weeks before to organise an early check in is now met with confused faces. We try to stay calm. I'm on the edge though I have to admit. Dylan’s starting to resemble some kind of monkey child. He looks completely nuts, one eye looking at me and one eye looking for me and as for Rudy, well he's way past that phase. He's found the balconies and is trying his hardest to climb/jump over for freedom. We need this room asap. We need to realign. Pete orders a round of Strawberry Daiquiris to soften the blow. They help. We’re on holiday after all. Daiquiris at 10.30am, I can do that I guess.
The third round of daiquiris come and horrahhhh the room is ready earlier than expected.
Pool side ready, with my new New Look bikini on, hair released from the braids and it’s already taken to the humidity. I've only stepped out of our room and walked for about 5 mins and it’s poofed out like Monica from Friends. Smooooth, well far from actually but I embrace it.
Our mates, Mat and Rhiannon are already down by the pool with their kids. It’s perfect. The pool is big and has lot’s of different areas for grown ups and children along with a heavy amount of greenery surrounding it. The poolside itself isn't too busy either. I guess one of the perks of a 14 hour flight, not many people are mad enough to travel that far with children for a week or so holiday.
For the rest of the day the pattern kind of went like this… Eat, drink, sleep, eat, drink, sleep and so on. The dad’s completely passed out for a good few hours with the smaller children whilst Rhiannon and I swam and had fun with the older two. It was pretty chilled. The hours passed by and it got to that time of day where you all go up to your rooms, get cleaned up and smelling fresh for t’evening. Getting to the room wasn't problem at all, it’s the getting out… Jet lag hits Dylan and I hard! I start to fall asleep and it feels likes the best kind of sleep. The sleep you only dream of when you're a sleep deprived parent. Pete manages to wake me up but as he's doing this Dylan falls asleep. He's not going anywhere. Completely sparko! We have to carry him down to dinner and as lovely as it is to see the sunset we've all got the same thing on our minds. Bed! Dylan and Amelie sleep at the table but the babies are wide awake… hectic night ahead for us then!
A few days have passed and we’ve just about managed to find our feet.
We decided to venture out of the hotel for dinner one evening. That morning I had woken up with a familiar feeling I've had before… Deli Belly! I tried to ignore it by necking a couple of Pepto Bismol tablets which I think only worked in my head…
Where we were going to eat was an hour away by car, a restaurant in Chenang that had come highly recommend by a number of foodie friends so we were keen to go. We’re on our way to the restaurant and now I was basically talking myself out feeling nauseous. Anxiety was creeping all over my body. I was terrified of throwing up all over the mini van and the driver, terrified of shitting myself (soz Pete) and terrified of leaving the safe walls of the hotel. Do we have to leave the hotel?! Can’t they Deliveroo it over…? Obvs, I know that’s not possible so brave face firmly put on and let’s hope for the best I guess? Pete knew I was struggling so he put some music on he knew I liked to distract me. It helped for a little while, but that lingering feeling I knew that in a couple of hours I was going to be super poorly was getting the better of me.
We arrive at the restaurant, if I wasn't poorly it would have been my dream place to eat but right now in this situation, it’s my worst nightmare. I can see live lobsters splashing around for dear life in their tanks next to crabs and loads of other seafood. The smell is unbearable. It’s hot and humid and I can’t breath. I sit down trying to get my shit together and all I can hear is people eating really loudly and slurping their drinks, its hideous! Everything is magnified. I’ve got cold sweats and the saliva is gathering in the corners of my mouth, the bathroom is needed and quick! Sanitiser in one hand and Kleenex in the other I make a dash for it. Long story short, I had to make myself sick a few times whilst being stood next to one of the squat drop toilets where you could see it’s entire contents. Yum! The only thing I could do was go straight back to the hotel and rest.
It took a few days for whatever I caught to fully disappear but during that time Dylan also experienced the same vomming bug. Dioralite was a saviour and the hotel made the best chocolate croissants so eventually we all got back on the straight and narrow.
With only a couple of days left of the holiday we started to feel a little guilty that we’d not really left the hotel… I mean why would we? It was wonderful. Nevertheless, Pete did some research and devised an itinerary full of adventure for the next day.
8am, day bags packed, driver waiting and we’re off, first stop a waterfall (with no actual water falling in it), it’s still pretty beautiful to be fair and in rainy season unforgettable I'm sure but we ain’t going for a quick dip that’s a fact! Moving on and it’s now time for the Langkawi cable car. We board the car and oh yeah, now I remember we are all shit scared of these things. It was an incredibly long 15 mins up and what felt even longer back down. The views were spectacular but a shaken up and tearful Dylan wants the safety of the pool and his inflatable shark and I couldn't agree more. “What about the art gallery?” asked Pete as I was loading bags and babies into the back of our chauffeur driven rusty 80’s mini van. Sometimes silence and my glare can speak volumes.
Here it is, that day we’ve all been dreading… The final day of the holiday! Late checkout sorted but we’re still going to have a good 4 hours to kill. Armed with a fully charged iPad and 24 episodes of Peppa Pig, we opt for cold beer and the longest lunch ever!!
Rudy falls asleep straight away, winning, Dylan’s off looking for Lizards whilst me and the boyf sit and get some peace and quiet. We kick back, put our feet up and welcome the impending snooze - might I add that it was a very empty restaurant…
“Soooo, how was your holiday? Are you sad to be leaving? I heard you had snow in England…”
Yaaaaaay. It’s our very friendly, very very chatty Malaysian waiter who goes by the name Del Boy!! I manage to entertain the conversation for about 5 minutes until my grin becomes achy. He leaves to attend to another customer. I’m just about back into snooze mode and when I hear Del Boy dragging a chair from another table to the head of ours. Plonks himself down, he’s got more to say. He’s not going anywhere!
Perfect timing, Dylan returns at the same time as our food. Great, maybe Del will go and find something else to do whilst we eat our food. We all start tucking in and is Del stood behind Dylan insisting he’s to wear a napkin. I politely tell him that it’s fine but nope, he’s having none of it. He’s telling me I need to look after my sons clothes by putting a napkin there. Pete and I make eye contact. Pete’s now getting pissed off. As Del Boy is faffing around Dylan, Pete finally raises his tone a little and tells him not to put the napkin on Dylan, stop it with the frickin’ napkin he says and now for good reason. As Del pulled the napkin from table without knowing but also drags it through a saucer of Ketchup, Pete still asking him to stop, it happens, it’s done, Ketchup goes everywhere. Del leaves never to be seen again.
Bless him. He only had good intentions.. It’s all good, we’ve had an amazing holiday. We know what’s looming with the flight home. We’ve done it once we can do it again - even with an extra 4 hour delay (not joking)! As Pete’s mum would say, “it’s nice to go away but it’s nice to get home” in’t it?!