Turning 30, what does it mean to you? Does it make you want to run and hide under a rock? Do you fear the shift into a new decade? Or does the idea of a whole new chapter make you feel like a kid at Christmas? Like many people I know who have turned 30, the majority of them feel like a massive weight has been lifted and start to give less of a fuck. Ideal! But there is still that remaining minority who seem panicked by the whole ordeal.
For some reason or another they didn’t imagine this is where they’d be at this particular stage in their lives and the whole situation makes them feel like they've massively underachieved.
Does that come down to being dissatisfied with the direction their career path has led them?
Or is it because they don’t have the 2.4 children set up? We’re not living in the 30’s-40’s anymore people, so why does society still make us feel so pressured to get a ring on our finger before entering this particular decade? I think people are forgetting, there are no rules! You do you and I’ll do me. These imaginary boxes which everyone seems so desperate to tick off have come from somewhere and to be honest I really wish they’d disappear.
Some people say I’ve got all the boxes ticked (those bloody boxes need shooting).
Married (just because we’re married it doesn't mean the hard work stops there, surely that’s the beginning of a totally different chapter in itself?).
Both children in full time education (thank the lord).
On the property ladder (only just).
Some people have also asked me if it was a master plan I had concocted to get it all done before I turned 30. I mean it’s good to have some sort of plan right? Again I can see this point but no I am definitely not that much of a control freak nor am I organised or calculated enough to pre plan all of that. There’s a hella lotta planning going into the timings of pregnancies, babies, tour wifing, weddings etc…
It’s been thrown out there that I’ve shot myself in the foot career wise for putting my personal life first. This particular comment does and doesn't offend me.
It only offends me in the respect of the fact that I tend to overthink most things (this is something that as I’ve got older I’m finally learning to give less of a fuck about what others think!).
Once I’ve opened the over thinking lid in my mind, I then start to doubt myself which leads to me believing maybe they are right? Maybe having children did affect my career because ultimately my career was pushed to the side so I could focus on bringing my babies up whilst their dad was away on tour. Gaaa that horrible voice inside my head trying to butt in! Someone throw me a hammer. It’s work in progress!
At the end of the day, having children young was something I always dreamt of doing, even way before I started working at the age of 15. I knew I wanted to be a young mum so I could grow up with them, marry the love of my life and live happily ever after. I still stick by this but I really do think young kids need to taught that actually life does continue after getting married. That’s not the end of the road. That’s when the real work begins!
I was well aware my small children were going to take up all of my twenties and I’m glad they did! Also the saying ‘Shot in the foot’, I understand it but in all fairness it only makes me want to push harder using the rest of my body!
What turning 30 means to me…
Let’s lose the social anxieties and know that we have the best kind of people around us. And if that’s something you need to work on, do it asap because those good eggs are hard to find. Cherish them!
Let’s ditch the bad eggs and avoid that kind of eggy drama. Plus you can smell a bag egg a mile off! Egg! Just when you thought I hadn't said it enough!
Listen to the inner voice. Follow your gut and see where you end up. If you wanna emigrate go and bloody emigrate! If you wanna own an ice cream van, go and buy an ice cream van! Only you can hear that inner voice of yours. Listen to it!
Let’s focus on our health! Yes it’s bloody important to go out, let your hair down and keep those feet on the ground but it’s also the time to think about our lifestyles longterm. Hangovers lead to wasting days, well mine do anyway. No more wasting time! And believe me, I’ve done enough of that over the years!
All physical changes begin internally. With a healthy mind comes a healthy body.
I’m not trying to sound like I’m preaching because that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do but life whooshes past in a flash! Know your boundaries, love your cheerleaders and work towards your own goals and not those fucking boxes/other peoples expectations.
‘More than ever we live in a society that takes away from our self assurance because of the value put on the external. Anchor yourself in whats actually real - your heart, your mind, your light, the way you treat people, and the energy you give to yourself.’ Sandra Chabot Weber - Huff Post